Everything is going great, your relationship is off to a great start, and you think you’ve met the person of your dreams.
Yet, you’re a little worried. Historically, you always end up dating the wrong guy. Don’t worry, we got you covered.
When in love, these red flags can start looking heart-shaped.
So it may be essential to step back outside of your feelings and analyze the person you’re dating to determine if any red flags are present and if so, determine if it is something you can handle long-term.
Below, we have red flags to look out for in a relationship.
Red Flag #1: They still Live at Home with their Parents
One red flag to look out for in a relationship is if your partner still live at home with their parents.
Although this is a major red flag, there could be a valid reason that the individual may live at home with their parents.
Possibly, their parents are ill and need to be taken care of. Maybe, they are going through a divorce and need time to get back on their feet.
Perhaps, it is only temporary while they actively look to purchase a home.
These are just a few examples of circumstances that may cause people to move in with their parents, but it doesn’t mean that the person you seek to date is failing in life.
However, if the person you are dating still lives at home with their parents, one sign to look for is the failure to launch.
Like the movie, Failure to Launch, is when a child stays at home with her parent for too long and becomes dependent on them for their daily needs.
The issue is that they cannot function on their own without the help of another.
This may be not having the responsibility to pay bills or wanting a live-in maid (aka their mom).
The problem with relying on a parent for so long is that it may cause a lack of maturity and responsibility to get things done independently.
Therefore, if the relationship advances to the next stages and they move in with you, your partner may rely heavily on you to get things done.
Therefore, putting added weight on you.
Red Flag #2: Friends are Losers
Take a good close look at their friends.
It is a major red flag if their friends lack any sort of achievement in life.
The old saying, birds of a feather Flock together, means that your actions, aspirations, and desires often lie with those closest to you.
If those closest to your newfound love have no ambition or motivation or are going nowhere, then the person you’re dating may be the same way.
Red Flag #3: Changes Jobs Constantly
Another red flag to look out for in a relationship is if they change jobs constantly.
If you are dating someone and you notice that they can’t keep a job longer than 6 months, that is a red flag.
Someone who changes jobs constantly indicates laziness or a poor work ethic.
If they cannot keep a job, then there is a possibility that once they move in with you, they may want you to pay their way.
In fact, your newfound love may become your nightmare who becomes a full-time live-in mooch that doesn’t contribute to the household financially. [Read also: How to Tell if You are Dating Someone Not Living up to Their Potential]
Red Flag #4: Bills are Past Due
Suppose you go to your newfound love’s home and find that they have bills sitting on their table that are past due.
Past due bills is a major red flag. This indicates that they are either broke or financially irresponsible.
Furthermore, they likely have bad credit.
If you ever want to buy a new house together, and they have bad credit, then your interest rates will be higher. Therefore it personally impacts you by costing you more money in the long run.
Although, a late payment or bill that is past due can be uncommon and just a coincidence you saw it.
However, it is something to keep your eye out for to ensure it is not an ongoing habit.
Red Flag #5: Doesn't Take You on a Proper Date
Anyone with proper etiquette knows it is appropriate to take a woman on a nice date. If he’s inviting you back to his house to Netflix and chill, then run.
Not only does that indicate that he wants nothing more than a one-night stand, but it also shows that he doesn’t have the sense to treat you like a proper lady.
Even if you want to Netflix and Chill alongside him, then keep in mind you may be setting the bar towards how he treats you throughout the rest of your relationship.
Red Flag #6: Never Pays Their Way
Another red flag to look out for in a relationship is if they do not pay their own way.
If your newfound love never pays their way, then be weary because they may leave you paying for everything throughout the entire relationship.
If you move in with your significant other and they don’t pay their half of the bills, that is a major red flag.
You want a partner who can pay their way.
Picking up the check and paying their half of the bills while living together is just a way of showing respect to the other person they are committed to.
Red Flag #7: Doesn't Have a Reliable Car
Another red flag to look out in a relationship is that they don’t have a reliable car.
If the person doesn’t have a working vehicle, is always in the shop getting fixed, or has no car, that is a definite red flag.
It is something to look out for if they need help to afford a working vehicle.
This may result in poor spending habits, bad work ethics, or poor credit, which hinders them from getting a new car.
Red Flag #8: Can't Manage Money
Market Watch states, “41% of divorced Gen Xers and 29% of Boomers say they ended their marriage due to disagreements about money.”
Managing money is so important as it is the bloodline of life.
To function in society, you have to have an income.
Money is required for food, shelter, clothing, and anything else you want.
Therefore, dating somebody who cannot properly manage their finances can set you back financially if you need to financially help them.
Signs to watch out for that the person you are dating cannot manage money.
For one, they own expensive clothing, and their card declines on a date.
This indicates that they are spending all their money to look well-off while barely scraping by. This is financially irresponsible.
Another sign to watch is if they are quick to buy others drinks at the bar, pay for everyone’s tab at dinner or let friends mooch off them.
This is great if they have the money; however, if you know they work a 9-5 at a decent salary, then chances are they are draining their bank account to impress others. [Read also: 10 Spending Habits That are Keeping You Broke]
Red Flag #9: Substance Abuse
Substance abuse is a major problem.
If the person you are with has a drinking or drug problem, then that is something you may want to consider as a significant red flag.
A drinking problem is someone who cannot control the intake of alcohol that they consume within a setting.
The problem with this is, do you want to be with somebody who’s an absolute drunk night after night and has no self-control over the consumption of alcohol they intake?
Drugs may be even worse.
Do you want to deal with someone high all the time who has no idea what is happening around you?
Being around individuals with substance abuse may cause you to partake with them.
Just determine if you want to be around someone with a substance abuse issue and do you want to be pressured into doing it with them.
Likely, if you want to become successful, then probably not.
Red Flag #10: Lies
Someone who lies can never be trusted.
That is the problem with having a liar in a relationship.
You will always doubt what they have to say and wonder if it is accurate or if they are deceiving you.
There are many reasons why people lie.
Sometimes it is not to take responsibility, sometimes because they are afraid of how you will react, or they don’t want to face the truth themselves.
Lying is a red flag, and it’s something that should be considered if it happens regularly.
Red Flag #11: Angry
Anger usually is something that comes from a deeper-rooted issue.
However, being with someone who is always angry is definitely toxic for anyone’s mental well-being.
Therefore, if the person you’re spending your time with show signs of anger, then definitely consider this as a significant red flag.
Red Flag #12: Controlling
This is the behavior of when someone tries to force you to do something you’re uncomfortable doing through manipulation or peer pressure.
The problem is that controlling another person is impossible.
That person is going to do what they want to do regardless.
Therefore it can cause the person trying to control you to act in physical violence to get you to do what they want.
If seeing controlling behavior in your relationship, take it with extreme caution.
Red Flag #13: Jealousy
The problem with jealousy is that it can affect a relationship negatively.
It can cause unnecessary arguing, fighting, or false accusations that are harmful to the other.
Jealousy is another red flag that, if you begin to notice, proceed with caution.
In conclusion, it’s always a good idea to keep an eye out for red flags in a relationship, especially if you have a history of dating the wrong type of person.
While some of these red flags may have valid reasons, determine if it is something you can handle in the long run.
Ultimately, it is up to you to decide what is acceptable in a relationship and what is not. By being aware of these red flags, you can make an informed decision on whether to continue the relationship or not.
It is better to be cautious now than to regret your decision later.
Complete List of Red Flags to Look Out for in a Relationship
- They Still Live at Home with their Parents
- Friends are Losers
- Changes Jobs Constantly
- Bills are Past Due
- Doesn’t Take You on a Proper Date
- Never Pays Their Way
- Doesn’t have a Reliable Car
- Can’t Manage Money
- Substance Abuse
Sara is a writer for Amora V Lifestyle and is Co-Owner of Elizabeth Besich. Sara previously worked as a Marketing Manager and has her Master’s from Lindenwood University.
Sara studies everything of interest, from psychology, recipes, finances, mental health, and travel, thriving to find happiness and to live a good life.
When not learning, Sara loves all things outdoors, food, and hanging around great company. Furthermore, Sara loves spending time with family, who she is blessed to have in her life.
Note from the author: Through my articles, I hope to bring you joy and peace and that you enjoy it!