Some toxic relationships can be immediately apparent, while for others, it takes years of slowly being destroyed before no longer recognizing the person in the mirror.
Unhealthy relationships come in various forms- [Read also: Read Flags to Look Out for in a Relationship].
Therefore, finding the right people to surround yourself with throughout life is essential and a choice that should not be taken lightly.
Knowing the different types of toxic relationships and their signs is essential. Below we have the various signs of an unhealthy relationship.
Imbalance of Emotion
The Highs are High, and the Lows are Low. You never know what you will get. Happy – angry – all over the place.
You can have a fantastic time with this type of person. It’s a euphoria that feels like the world freezes in time as you become enthralled with its enchanting personality.
Only hours, days, or weeks later, find that when the mood strikes, you are in the horror-ish hell they are creating.
This type of person knows how to have a good time. Yet, with a flick of a switch, the fun, charming personality disappears and comes forth as another personality, bat sh#t crazy!
This type of person can change on a whim, leaving you unaware of what you did wrong. This type of relationship can make you feel like you are walking on eggshells.
Therefore, causing you to be careful about what to say and how you behave so you don’t upset them.
Living like this can become physically exhausting and mentally draining.
One sign of a toxic relationship is when your partner is never pleased.
No matter what you do, more is needed. You could build them the Taj Mahal, walk on water, and win the lottery. Yet they will always need more from you.
You will spend your entire life trying to please these people, which will never be enough. This type of person will drain your energy with the constant bickering of displacement.
Being around someone who is never pleased will leave you exhausted, unhappy, and unmotivated.
You may be in an abusive relationship if you are in a relationship with someone who does not let you see your friends or family.
Abusers may also try to turn your family and friends against you making it seem like they are the victim.
Thus, placing blame on you rather than the abuser.
Painting a morbid picture that something is seriously wrong with you instead of them. Therefore, motivating those around you to keep their distance from you.
However, controlling is more than just isolating yourself from your family.
It is forcing you to make uncomfortable decisions, telling you who you can and cannot speak with, and even keeping tabs on you.
It is the ability to regulate your every movement.
Controlling can come from manipulation, jealousy, deception, lying, gaslighting, or even belittlement.
There are many different ways to be in a controlling relationship.
Sometimes, those being controlled don’t realize it until it’s too late.
If you think you may be in a controlling relationship, seek help immediately.
If one person has access to all the money and is controlling where all the money is going, that may be a red flag of a toxic person.
Controlling financing makes it hard for the other person to escape the relationship since money is needed in every aspect of life.
Therefore, not allowing you access to money causes you not to stand alone. With money, it is possible to obtain food and shelter.
Thus, forcing you to need and rely on the individual for survival makes it difficult to leave the relationship.
Be careful if someone close does not want you to work.
Pressuring you not to work may be a red flag of future abuse.
Just remember, being unable to provide an income makes it even harder to leave them.
Before leaving your job, make sure you have enough saved to escape the relationship if needed.
Another sign of a Toxic Relationship is when your partner constantly lies.
Lying is a toxic trait as it causes distress.
Lying over time can have long-term consequences on the relationship.
One consequence of lying is the lack of trust. When you lie to somebody, then trust is lost.
The lack of trust makes it hard to be vulnerable and open up in a relationship. Not being vulnerable with your partner impacts your relationship emotionally and within the bedroom.
According to Verywell Mind, “Intimacy requires emotional vulnerability which can become nearly impossible without a foundation of trust and honesty.”
Intimacy requires opening oneself up and allowing you to become vulnerable to your partner. Lying prevents this from happening.
Thus, lying can negatively impact your relationship in the bedroom.
Manipulation is when somebody does something intentionally to get you to do something they want.
Manipulation is harmful because you may think you’re doing things you like.
However, because your partner, friend, or family member is manipulating you into doing something they believe is in your best interest may leave you feeling confused as to why you are not enjoying the things in life you chose to do.
Someone close to you may be manipulating you if you feel unsure why specific experiences are unpleasant or draining you of your energy.
Not realizing it’s because it’s something you are tricked or pushed into doing.
This can be as simple as getting manipulated into date nights and as severe as making major life choices such as moving to a new state, taking a job you are unhappy with, or having a child.
Being manipulated can make the relationship and overall life unpleasant while creating confusion.
Therefore, ask yourself:
- Do I want this?
- Am I feeling pressure from your partner, friend, or family member?
- Do I enjoy this? Is this something that will make me happy?
Asking yourself if you want this is essential to ensure you live your best life and the life you want.
It is for this reason that manipulation made it on our list of Signs of a Toxic Relationship.
Physical abuse is putting their hands on you in any form that hurts you physically. If in this situation, you must leave the relationship immediately.
Physical abusers often go through a cycle of remorse and lies of changed behavior before they become violent again.
If Being Physically Abused, Please, Get Help Today
National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233
Isolation is when someone in your relationship isolates you from friends or family.
Isolation can result in stirring up drama, forbidding you from seeing someone, or from passive-aggressive behavior.
Isolation can be dangerous if physically or mentally abused, which leads us to our next point.
Another sign of a toxic relationship is when anything goes wrong, the person immediately ignores you. It could be for just a day or weeks on end.
Ignoring consists of a lack of communication, refusing to acknowledge your existence, or leaving without telling you where they’re going for an extended period.
Cutting somebody out of your life for long periods by ignoring them altogether is incredibly toxic.
Be careful of this personality trait; it will leave you hurt repeatedly.
Game playing is the passive-aggressive way of messing with someone.
One form of game playing is hiding, moving, or misplacing stuff in the house while watching your partner stress from not finding it.
Another example of game playing is flirting with others in front of you, trying to make you jealous.
Another example of game playing is not responding to texts for long periods, refusing to tell you where they are going, or hiding significant aspects of their life.
These are just a few different ways game-playing may occur in your relationship. Game playing is toxic and mean.
Being in a relationship with someone who plays games may make you feel inadequate and confused.
It is a power play on the abuser’s part to feel they have power and are in control.
We get it; at some point, everyone gets mad. How you deal with, it matters.
If your partner can’t learn how to control their anger appropriately, then it will be toxic for those living in the house.
Yelling all the time is very stressful and detrimental to those around you.
Be cautious if acts of violence occur, along with yelling; this can be punching holes in walls, throwing things, or violent threats.
Constantly yelling impacts everyone in the house, including little children.
Furthermore, this teaches children in the home that this behavior is acceptable.
Thus, making it imperative to have your partner, friend, or family member seek help to control outbursts of anger.
Another sign of a Toxic Relationship is belittlement.
Tearing you down is an excellent way for emotionally abusive people to feel powerful and superior.
Tearing you down can come in the form of belittling.
Belittlement can be outright name-calling.
However, it may only sometimes be noticeable! It may come as a backhanded compliment or indicate that your choices in life are wrong.
Example: Sally started her own business, and her abuser belittles her by commenting, “when you get a real job…”
Although it may not be noticeable, claiming that her business is not worth considering work is a way to belittle Sally’s new accomplishments.
Another example is when your significant other says to friends and family, “Sally currently doesn’t work, which is OK. She is taking time off to focus on herself.”
When working day and night, starting and creating a business your partner doesn’t support.
Belittlement, over time, will hinder the way you view yourself.
Constantly being belittled will slowly weaken your self-esteem and make you feel worthless.
Feelings of low self-esteem can cause self-destruction and discouragement in improving your life. Do not take belittlement lightly.
Lacking responsibility is toxic as it causes one person to pick up the slack for another.
Lacking accountability can include housework, contributing to the bills, or taking care of the kids.
If both adults work and bring home a paystub, then responsibility within the family and home should be divided.
Having one do everything while the other relaxes and watches TV is unfair.
This may lead you to pull extra weight to get stuff done, which may cause resentment and frustration in the relationship.
Furthermore, carrying responsibility for both in the relationship will hinder the ability to focus on yourself.
Focusing on yourself may be wanting to work on physical appearance, business, or spending time relaxing and enjoying hobbies.
You need time to do what makes you happy and not spend your entire life sacrificing to those needs around you. [Read also: How to Tell if You are Dating Someone Who is Not Living Up to Their Full Potential]
Make sure to take time for yourself.
Additionally, if most of your time is spent taking responsibility for both adults in the relationship, it can lead to burnout.
Keeps a Scorecard
Forgive and forget is almost necessary for a long-term relationship.
Constantly reminding your partner of a mistake they made a week, month, or years ago gets old fast.
That is excellent news if you forgive those around you, and they learn and move on from the issue.
However, if your partner keeps messing up repeatedly without changing, that is a different story. It may indicate that those around you are unwilling to change. In that case, you must decide if you can live with it.
Substance Abuse is a big one. If someone close to you has a severe substance abuse problem, such as alcohol or drugs, this will almost always negatively impact your life.
Substance abuse is severe.
Those closest to you may pressure you to drink or do drugs so they do not feel inadequate about their choices.
Participating in substance abuse with your partner can lead your life down the wrong path you may not recover.
Do not take substance abuse lightly. It is for this reason it made our list of Signs of a Toxic Relationship.
In conclusion, identifying toxic relationships is crucial for your mental well-being.
Toxic relationships come in various forms, from an imbalance of emotions to controlling behaviors, lies, or manipulates. However, these are only a few toxic behaviors that may be displayed within a relationship.
Sometimes the toxic behaviors don’t start to become predominate until later in the relationship, making it difficult to spot when starting to date.
Knowing the different types of toxic relationships and their signs is essential to avoid falling into an unhealthy relationship.
By finding the right people to surround yourself with throughout life is crucial and a choice that should not be taken lightly.
Full List of Signs of a Toxic Relationship
- Never Pleased
- Imbalance of Emotion
- Control You
- Physically Abusive
- Keeps Secretes
- Controls Finances
- Game Playing
- Yells Constantly
- Lacks Responsibility
- Keeps a Score Card
- Avoids Real Issues
- Substance Abuse
Sara is a writer for Amora V Lifestyle and is Co-Owner of Elizabeth Besich. Sara previously worked as a Marketing Manager and has her Master’s from Lindenwood University.
Sara studies everything of interest, from psychology, recipes, finances, mental health, and travel, thriving to find happiness and to live a good life.
When not learning, Sara loves all things outdoors, food, and hanging around great company. Furthermore, Sara loves spending time with family, who she is blessed to have in her life.
Note from the author: Through my articles, I hope to bring you joy and peace and that you enjoy it!